“‘Good morning, Sunshine!’ Sang Malfoy, who was beside Harry’s bed, in a pink, fluffy, dress. Then Harry screamed. ‘DRACO MALFOY, YOU ARE SOOO SICK!’ Harry shrieked. Then Malfoy started singing the Barney theme song, like he really meant it. Harry’s screams got louder, and louder, and he started banging his burnt head on his night table.
Then Malfoy grew pretty pink wings, and flew out the window, with little sparkles in his trail”
The fuck did I just read?!
One thing that bothers me though about several Richter/Emil NSFW fics. Actually, just fics in general that I’ve seen do this, too.
Trigger warning for discussion of implications of rape.
It’s Mistaken For Maid, hasn’t had an update since last August. One of my favorite Richter/Emil fics.
But oh man, it’s hilarious to read fic when my muses are particularly strong. The commentary is great. XD
…I will fic the shit out of that idea because it was pure fucking gold and I think the world needs to see it.
Yes, good. I shall plot it. And I shall write it. Because I need something to be fired up about. I don’t care if this is absolute ages after the idea was proposed, I will do something with it. And it will be glorious.
Besides—there needs to be more Richter/Aster/Emil fic (especially nsfw) and I’ve been starved for more of my OT3 (and having lots of feels for my OTPs and my OT3 lately. Mostly in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping). And it’s also been far too long since I’ve written crack. And the Internet needs more crack.
Especially if it involves traumatizing a certain asshole Summon Spirit.
A Badfic Bingo card to take with you to fanfiction.net! I just read one that almost hit all of these. My face hurts from laughing so much.
I got up from afternoon nap.. and saw this… LOL
I died at the dick missiles one, OMG.
But it’s sad how certain phrases would be not horrible—if they weren’t abused to hell and back.
“Oh my god I’m so glad that my characters aren’t popular omg people write horrible things and draw horrible things like them having sex or pairing them with people that they weren’t meant to be paired with or genderbending them or omg stuff I don’t like!”
Well, buddy, I really hope you never, everget your work published (and then read by more than like 10 people who really like it), because that’s just kinda what happens when you develop a fandom. You get people writing/drawing things that you don’t necessarily approve of, because they like your shit enough to want to work it into their own life in their own way. Some of it IS horrible—but really? You’re gonna bitch if they write a genderbent AU? Or if they write a story pairing them with somebody else (with OR without changing sexualities around)?
Or if, god forbid, they like your character(s) enough to want to explore how they’d react in other—sometimes implausible or even impossible—settings through RP, fanart, or fanfiction?
Trapped in the closet, literally.
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
“I have finally reached my destination which was Sora’s balls. It was everything that I expected it to be. It was hot, smelly, and cramp. The walls were much ridged and touching almost felt like spaghetti.”
Oh god no. I actually read this one, I’m pretty sure. Or one similar to it. ;_;
This is the kind of weird shit I end up reading when I torture myself with badfic. I don’t know why I force myself to read badfic. But holy shit this one.
It was just bad all around. Too many typos, bad grammar, writing of a quality I prefer to avoid…
…Actually, that almost makes me want to reconsider eating pasta…
Fandom: Tales of Vesperia
“He tossed his head back into Yuri’s chest, their bodies radiating enough heat to cook a dozen pizzas.”
Tales does have some absolute -gems- when it comes to strange lines in fics.
…I’m sure I’ve written some of them. XD
imagine person B of your OTP writing fanfiction about person A and reading it aloud to them while they scream and cry into a pillow
…Well, there was that one story planned around the idea of Aster writing Richter/Aster, Richter/Emil, Aster/Emil, and Richter/Aster/Emil fanfiction… *cough*
…I still need to finish chapter five… If only I could actually type it. -_-
…I always thought my first drunk!Aster story would end up on my alt account.
Somehow I no longer suspect that will be the case. Which means normal people can enjoy it too! …Too bad it’s still gonna be weird as hell.
ASTER X ASTER NEW OTP. /shot