- Ted: I like chicks.
- Chick: I like trees.
- Ted: I'll get that bitch a tree. Bitches love trees. Hey Gramma where the fuck do I get a tree?
- Gramma: Go talk to the Once-ler, he knows shit like that.
- Ted: Yo Once-ler bro how the fuck do I get a tree?
- Once-ler: Lemme tell you a story about trees.
- Ted: Do you have to?
- Once-ler: Yes. So there was this time when I had a douchebag family and then I ditched them and went off and cut down some trees to make shit with. And then this Lorax dude showed up.
- Lorax: If you cut down any more trees I will cut you.
- Once-ler: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Cool story bro.
- Lorax: I'm sorry, by 'I will cut you' I meant I will dump you into a river and leave you to drown.
- Once-ler: Woah calm thyself the fuck down bro. Jesus Christ, man. I won't cut down any more trees, happy?
- Lorax: That's chill then.
- Everybody: GIMME A FUCKIN THNEED I WANT ONE
- Once-ler: Shit shit um hey I gotta call my douchebag family over to help.
- Douchebag family: Just cut the damn trees down already you pansy.
- Once-ler: Aw why the hell not. Sure thing.
- Everybody: FUCKIN THNEEDS HELL YEAH
- Once-ler: I'm fuckin rich this is awesome.
- Lorax: What the fuck dude you promised!
- Once-ler: I didn't PINKY PROMISE, douchebag, so it didn't count.
- Lorax: Fuck you douchebag that's the last fuckin tree you just killed, good going. Have a goddamn tree seed, I'm out.
- Douchebag family: Lol fail we're out.
- Everyone: Lol I'm out man air's fuckin filthy around here.
- Once-ler: What the hell do I do now. I'm just gonna lock myself up for a couple decades and not bother planting this seed thing.
- Ted: So if you're not using it can I have it or what?
- Once-ler: Why the hell not, man, go get that chick.
- O'Hare: Woah woah everyone slow down trees will give you guys for free what I give you for 50 bucks. That's not cool man.
- Ted: Nobody gives a shit, I have a fuckin tree. Move bitch, get out the way. I'm planting this fucker.
- Chick: Oh, Mr. Ted, ooooh! You're so sexy, take me now! My body is ready!
- Gramma: Damn straight.
- Lorax: 'Bout time someone planted that damn tree. Hey Once-ler bud we're cool now, there's a tree again.
- Once-ler: That's fucking awesome, man. Gimme a hug.
“Since Yuri isn’t around, I’ll translate for Repede.”
“‘I guess you found me out.’”
“‘I got him in a trade. You know how those can go.’”
“‘But I’m making the best of it. He’ll be a real champ when he hits Lv. 100! As for training, that’s a secret. He’d be embarrassed if I told.’”
Would you believe she proposed to me?
It was pretty surprising. She hid the ring in my lunchbox one day.
“Surprising” is putting it lightly. You nearly choked on it.
I should not find this as funny as I do. XD