April 2012
Quick Summary of the Lorax
- Ted: I like chicks.
- Chick: I like trees.
- Ted: I'll get that bitch a tree. Bitches love trees. Hey Gramma where the fuck do I get a tree?
- Gramma: Go talk to the Once-ler, he knows shit like that.
- Ted: Yo Once-ler bro how the fuck do I get a tree?
- Once-ler: Lemme tell you a story about trees.
- Ted: Do you have to?
- Once-ler: Yes. So there was this time when I had a douchebag family and then I ditched them and went off and cut down some trees to make shit with. And then this Lorax dude showed up.
- Lorax: If you cut down any more trees I will cut you.
- Once-ler: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Cool story bro.
- Lorax: I'm sorry, by 'I will cut you' I meant I will dump you into a river and leave you to drown.
- Once-ler: Woah calm thyself the fuck down bro. Jesus Christ, man. I won't cut down any more trees, happy?
- Lorax: That's chill then.
- Everybody: GIMME A FUCKIN THNEED I WANT ONE
- Once-ler: Shit shit um hey I gotta call my douchebag family over to help.
- Douchebag family: Just cut the damn trees down already you pansy.
- Once-ler: Aw why the hell not. Sure thing.
- Everybody: FUCKIN THNEEDS HELL YEAH
- Once-ler: I'm fuckin rich this is awesome.
- Lorax: What the fuck dude you promised!
- Once-ler: I didn't PINKY PROMISE, douchebag, so it didn't count.
- Lorax: Fuck you douchebag that's the last fuckin tree you just killed, good going. Have a goddamn tree seed, I'm out.
- Douchebag family: Lol fail we're out.
- Everyone: Lol I'm out man air's fuckin filthy around here.
- Once-ler: What the hell do I do now. I'm just gonna lock myself up for a couple decades and not bother planting this seed thing.
- Ted: So if you're not using it can I have it or what?
- Once-ler: Why the hell not, man, go get that chick.
- O'Hare: Woah woah everyone slow down trees will give you guys for free what I give you for 50 bucks. That's not cool man.
- Ted: Nobody gives a shit, I have a fuckin tree. Move bitch, get out the way. I'm planting this fucker.
- Chick: Oh, Mr. Ted, ooooh! You're so sexy, take me now! My body is ready!
- Gramma: Damn straight.
- Lorax: 'Bout time someone planted that damn tree. Hey Once-ler bud we're cool now, there's a tree again.
- Once-ler: That's fucking awesome, man. Gimme a hug.
- End
March 2012
“Since Yuri isn’t around, I’ll translate for Repede.”
“Woof-woof!”
“‘I guess you found me out.’”
“Woof. *whine*”
“‘I got him in a trade. You know how those can go.’”
“Rrrr-woof! Woof-woof!”
“‘But I’m making the best of it. He’ll be a real champ when he hits Lv. 100! As for training, that’s a secret. He’d be embarrassed if I told.’”
Dear Mike,
Would you believe she proposed to me?
It was pretty surprising. She hid the ring in my lunchbox one day.
“Surprising” is putting it lightly. You nearly choked on it.
hsdfasdhfsdf
I should not find this as funny as I do. XD
